in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
