He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
