Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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