I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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