You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How does one acquire holy water?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
