Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize