you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
