toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
