She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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