this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
