didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
