Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
