idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
