Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
