How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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