is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
