How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
