Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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