i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
