why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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