Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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