Cold hands, warm shart.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
