As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
