this beer tastes like vomit already
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
