I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
