I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
