Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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