Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize