I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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