bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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