If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
