Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
