it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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