Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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