New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
