i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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