i just wanna soil my oats bro
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
