I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize