I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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