well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
