am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
