Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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