Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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