i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
whose parrot is this?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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