trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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