I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize