small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize