yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
