I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
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