My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
