How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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