He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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