Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
