I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize