ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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