You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
