is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
