I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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