OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
