Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
