Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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