i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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