Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
