Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
