I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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